Rules for Wedding Invitation Wording

Wording your wedding invitations appropriately is very important, especially if you are having a formal or traditional wedding or if you had help covering the costs of your ceremony and reception. A few decades ago, wording wedding invitations was very straightforward because most couples stuck to the age old etiquette rules of the bride’s family paying for everything. Today, many situations are not so simple.

Traditional Wedding Invitation Wording

The traditional wording of a wedding invitation suggests the idea of the bride being “given away” by her family. Her parents were always listed as the hosts (i. e. the people doing the inviting) and the bride’s name was always given top billing over the groom’s name. Since the bride’s parents were most likely married, they could simply be referred to as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” on the invitation.

Today, you must remember the wedding invitation wording should accurately reflect who is paying for the wedding. If the groom’s parents are footing the bill, then they get to be placed as the hosts on the invitation. If both sets of parents are sharing the costs, then both sets get listed as hosts because they are sharing hosting duties.

Of course, some couples pay for their own weddings. In that case, the couple acts as the hosts on the wedding invitation. The bride’s name should still come first though because the wedding is always going to be her special day whether she or her parents are writing the vendors’ checks. If you don’t feel comfortable listing yourselves at the hosts even though you paid, then credit both sets of parents as the hosts anyway. It’s your wedding invitation so do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

Expressing Relationships in Wedding Invitations

Another difficulty faced in wording wedding invitations today is expressing relationships. When couples get married today, they often have divorced, remarried, or deceased parents which can cause wording complications.

When the parents are divorced, their child is the one to decide who gets mentioned on the wedding invitation. If both parents are listed, then their full names should be listed separately not as if they were still married. The bride or groom should also be the one who decides whether to include stepparents in the wedding invitation wording. If so, then their name can be combined with the spouse’s name – “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” – while the other parent’s name is listed separately.

When you’re wording your wedding invitations, the two most important rules to remember is 1) show respect for the individuals who are paying the bills and 2) you get to make the final decisions about who to include on the invitations.