Tossing the Bouquet

One fun part of many wedding receptions is the bouquet toss. The bride gathers all of the single women around her, then she turns her back towards them and throws the bouquet into the anxious crowd. Why might they be anxious? Well, the tradition says the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married and – at least in some versions of the tradition – she'll marry the man who catches the garter.

Although the bouquet toss can be fun for your guests, you're the one who gets to decide if the activity is included at your reception. Not everyone loves it. In fact, some people don't think it's appropriate for a formal reception at all. The good news is those people don't matter – all that matters is your opinion.

The bouquet toss, like the garter toss, grew out of a fourteenth century European idea that brides and everything they touched were lucky. Wedding guests would literally chase after brides in an attempt to tear off parts of their clothing just for the possibility of getting good luck. Eventually though, brides (and their grooms) decided to stop the madness and instead start throwing items at the crowd. The garter was usually removed and tossed by the groom while the bride took the liberty of throwing her bouquet. The people who caught the items were considered lucky.

If you're going to do a bouquet toss, you don't want to toss the one you carried down the aisle. That's something you'll want to have pressed or dried so you can hold onto it as a keepsake. Instead, when you order the flowers for the wedding, order a small bouquet that will be tossed. The smaller bouquet should be pretty close in appearance to the one you carried though.

You should also have some music playing during the bouquet toss. If you have a particular favorite song, why not have that playing in the background. Other songs that might be appropriate would include “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper or “It's Raining Men” by the Weather Girls.

While traditional bouquet tosses are nice, they certainly aren't your only choice. Some brides prefer to pass on their bouquet to a close friend – not in hopes of them getting married next but just as a keepsake of their relationship. You can pull your friend aside, give a little speech in her honor, and present the bouquet in front of your other guests. In fact, you could have two extra bouquets made then use one for this type of presenting and the other for a bouquet toss if you wanted.

Depending on your circle of friends, you might find your guest list isn't very full of single people, plus if those single guests are bringing dates they may not want their significant other to participate in the bouquet toss. You don't want to embarrass just a couple of single women by pulling them out onto the floor. Instead, you may want to skip the bouquet toss altogether and instead do something special for the married couples, such as having a special dance for them.

Remember it's your wedding reception so the final decisions about what activities you include and leave out will be made by you. Just try to keep the feelings of your guests in mind when you make those decisions.